Waiting

What am I supposed to be doing right now? I just can’t seem to figure it out. The last time I remember going through this process, I made a plan that was workable; one that would enable me to fulfill the destiny that I thought was mine. Now, for some reason, I feel lost.

There are so many things going on right now that my head is spinning in several directions at once! One minute I am coming, the next I am going, and in between times, I see things that just don’t make any sense at all! Am I going through a transition? Is it grief? What is happening? Dear God, please help me!

Maybe if I just sit down and relax, things will begin to make sense. Stop…. Breathe…. Inhale…. Exhale…. Close your eyes…. Lean back and rest…. There…. It will be okay…. Everything will be fine…. You will get through this…. It will not last forever!

Now, let’s take a look at what is happening right now: 1) aging mother, 2) husband looking forward to retirement, 3) children needing love and support, 4) house needing repairs, 5) stress at work, 6) church callings on hold, and 7) time available.

Problem – Fear of the Unknown – I don’t know when my mother will die. I don’t know how things will go with my husband’s retirement. I don’t know what will happen in the lives of my children. I don’t know how much it will cost for the home repairs and when they will be done. I don’t know how to deal with the stress at work, and I don’t know things will get back to normal at church!

I have so much time on my hands that I am wringing them to a frazzle! The confusion I am experiencing is just worry about all of these things jumbled up into one big mess! I am on the downhill slide of life, and I see the end of the road in so many instances that I am beginning to wonder when my time will be!

“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths” (Proverbs 3:5-6). “…Lord, I believe, help thou mine unbelief” (Mark 9:24)!

Lord, my life is in Thy hands. Thou hast given me time. Allow me to use it to glorify Thee. Give me the insight to see those who may be struggling, to help those who are hurting, and light the way for those who may be lost. Forgive my weakness and imperfections this day, Lord, and help me to trust in Thee!