Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Anticipating Grief

I can’t believe this is happening! Our hearts are still numb with the pain! One day we were laughing and joking together and now, we are ready to tear each other apart! How the choices of one can affect so many!

If only he would see what he is doing to the rest of us! How it hurts, to think of him being gone as well! Can we go on living, knowing that those we have loved and cared for are no longer here to share life’s most precious moments?

Can life be so cruel as to snatch another out from under us? Where is the fairness of a just God that would allow such an act! How can He be merciful and kind, when all around is pain, separation, and loss? Where is the promised balm of healing?

Surely there is a way, something we can do to prevent this. There must be, we just have to seek until we find it. Death cannot be the only way. We have to ask. Dear God, what can we do to keep him here just a little bit longer? We want to see him, to feel his love, to have his warmth and tenderness bless our lives.

What? Selfish? How can desiring love and acceptance be selfish? Oh, to have him stay in his condition would be selfish. It would meet our needs, but not his. Oh. He has finished his work here on this earth, and now it is time for him to return to Thee. How could I forget, it is not my will, but Thine, that is done.

Please forgive our shortsightedness! Please help us help him to be comfortable, to feel loved, and to be prepared to meet Thee. He is Thy child, waiting and ready to see Thee again. He is our friend, our mentor, our loved one. Oh, how we shall miss him!

Take him, Father, if it is Thy will that he go, take him. Don’t let him suffer needlessly. Take him and comfort him and be with him. We don’t want to see him suffer. What? We must? It is necessary for us to experience pain and suffering? How can that be just?!

I don’t understand. I am confused and frustrated. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry, to scream or shout. I just know that my heart is being wrenched and torn! I want these feelings to go away! They are so difficult to experience! Please speak peace to my mind and heart!

Rest. Yes, that is what I need. I am weary. The work is not done, I know. I will try again tomorrow. It will be a new day. Perhaps, then, my mind will know what to think, and my heart will know how to feel.

©2014 by Denise W. Anderson, all right reserved.

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